So I just got of the phone with the genetics tech and they want to see Keagan again sooner than we thought... When we go up to IA City in Feb they are going to schedule her an appt then.. this will give them time to go over the echo of her heart and explain more to us about what she will be going through... which is great, I love to feel informed about her... the real reason I write this is because they would like for her dad and I to get the same testing done to see where/how/possibly why this happened to her.
This is a real struggle for me because I dont know how I could handle the news that it was my body that caused her these issuses. I know I could not have prevented it and I love her no matter what but those of you who know me, know that I already do not want more children at this point and finding out that it was my DNA will only strengthen my desire to not have more children.. Keagan is my whole world but the emotional side of being a mom with a child who has some form of special needs is extremely hard.
So I guess I am seeking advise... do I or don't I? Doing it could help us help her and not doing it is selfish... but not doing it just may save this mamas heart....
Aww Ashley, we all know your pain and your desire to have everything better and to wipe away the pain. I think that is the mother's instinct, and you are a great one at that!!
ReplyDeleteOn the flip-side of you getting testing done, the results might be great and it might not be your genetics at all :) Then your mind will be at ease and you will be more prepared for future testing with Keagan! If it happens to be your genetics, then you get the answers you AND Keagan BOTH need! I think in the long run you will be happier and more content with yourself, knowing all the answers and that you have done everything you can possibly do. Keagan loves you just as much as you love her! Together, you will all get through these bumps in the road :) Saying prayers for you ♥♥